My very first real blog post will be about 21st birthday shenanigans.
My room mate and I turned 21 in quite a small time frame and there were some serious repercussions.
Casualties include:
1 Digital Camera
1 High heeled boot
2 Dignities
and we won't mention the money that was lost.
I was the lucky girl that turned 21 first. ON the first actually. December first to be exact, and it was lovely. I started around five in the afternoon and seeing as I had a fake ID for the past year this was nothing, if not an ordinary night of going out and getting chocolate wasted. Although, there were some moments in there that are definitely worth talking about. Like the moment that I almost punched my team mate in the face when I caught her trying to write her real weight on the fake that I had passed down to her, with a pen. My arm tallies told me I had already taken ten of the 22 shots I were to take that night and even as a drunk asshole I knew not to make a fake ID look even more fake.
That happened before we even left for the bar! We shoved seven people into a five seater and set sail for Bugsy Malone's with Rihanna screaming "SUCK MY COCKINESS LICK MY PERSUASION" through the speakers. I know you can already tell this is going to be a good night. We get to the bar and tried our hardest not to let the fact that it was just now my 21st birthday because I had been going to that bar for about two months before that.
However, that went on for about two hours and then people started buying me shots and we started screaming "21 BITCHES!"
A pretty severe fight broke out while I was gettin' down and dirty on the dance floor with my poor boyfriend watching helplessly from his bouncer post by the bar. Beer mugs started flying, tables and chairs were kicked over, but all I cared about was the girl kickin' ass at Karaoke! No one noticed her but me! Someone pushed me down and I don't know who helped me up, but I am 95% positive I poked them STRAIGHT in the eye trying to keep my drink from spilling.
This is when things got blurry. The next thing I remember is my head hitting the bar after taking straight Rumplemintz for my 22nd shot. Apparently I puked and rallied around shot number 19 and was a happy camper when a freshman gave me a ride home. When I took inventory on my team the next morning, I found out some pretty interesting things. One of my team mates blacked out and another one of my team mates picked her up dead weight and carried her to a cab. Jimbo slice said he was impressed. He also said she was in heels, which is really admirable! Apparently, a different team mate knocked on the door about two AM with her DD and I answered buck naked. (But hey, if I don't remember it, it didn't happen!) The poor guy driving her around said that she came in, peed, took off her heels and ear rings, and left. Which explained why heels and ear rings were on my couch.
Pictures later revealed that I almost won the hoola-hoop contest in a skirt, and they also revealed that I was wearing lovely Victoria Secret panties! Later in the day I found VIDEOS! Which featured me on the bathroom floor crying about something that had gotten on my hands, my team mate taking a massive shit, and my best friend from St. Louis/camera woman screaming for said team mate to "pinch it off!" and never take a shit at a bar again ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Then we found a video someone took asking me how it felt to finally be 21. I proceeded to reply by thanking Jesus and the bartender for the best night ever!
The next day I found 22 tallies, a penis, and a few initials drawn on my arm. I slammed a hamburger and texas fries, and spent the next two days in bed. All in all I say that my birthday bash was a HUGE success for everyone involved. Don't worry, 100% of my shots were mixed and 95% of my impaired decisions are not regretted.
Now, onto roomies birthday celebration. This is a good one too.
She is a trooper and took six shots at one in the afternoon while I was at my work out. So when I got home we were all stuffing our faces with frozen pizza and getting ready for the night ahead. The plan was to start at a bar/grill and end up at another bar. Now, keep in mind my room mate is a pretty significant party girl and has accumulated A LOT of friends along the way. A good forty people showed up at the bar/grill and she had all 21 shots bought for her with documentation each time to boot. She was barely starting to feel it and since she was peer pressured to start over because it had been so long since the first shots, her arm tally meant she had 27 shots by nine PM. I stayed sober and witnessed the drunkeness in all of it's beautiful glory. We got 5 warnings to be quiet or we were going to get kicked out, and by that time we downright just didn't give a shit. Several buffalo dips, and fish bowl margaritas later a handful of people walked out on their checks and headed to the second location. Of course Miss Center of Attention tried to get everyone to ditch and start a different party at her apartment that wasn't all about someone else, but everyone made it back to the bar within thirty minutes. After the minor melt down a couple of the girls that loathe Miss Center of Attention had, it really started to pick up. It is Christmas break and unfortunately I ran into a lot of people from High School and after Jimmy showed up I was tired of being the only sober one sitting in a bar. Roomie was on shot 40 and I figured I better get food in her STAT. I don't know how I did it, but I rounded up about 11 drunkards, and got them to Steak n Shake around midnight. There was screaming about seat arrangements, screaming about drunk driving, and screaming about needing cheese fries. One guy at the end of the table kept trying to start a fight with two guys two tables over. He also kept talking about how much he admired Jimmy's muscles. Which was a bit awkward. Three girls at the end other end of the table had tobacco in their lips and were trying to spit into cups, and another girl was asking the waiter if she could dance on a table for a free milk shake. I felt it to be a good trade but it was a no go.
Roomie lost her phone, found it, disappeared into the bathroom for a little too long, and then we made it back to the apartment. Sadly I passed out from dealing with drunk asses all night and apparently the girls stayed up watching a movie and raiding the fridge. I woke up to find a good friend on the couch and she had stolen MY comforter. I made pancakes for breakfast and then we all went back to sleep. My room mate went to a basketball game and then came back mid afternoon and slept until the next morning. She is borderline alcoholic, but I guess most people are around the age of 21.
Soooooo that's that.
Too much alcohol and a lot of birth celebration. Complete successes on both occasions.
I will never, EVER show fore mentioned videos to anyone. So don't try and google them because YOU WONT FIND THEM.
I was the lucky girl that turned 21 first. ON the first actually. December first to be exact, and it was lovely. I started around five in the afternoon and seeing as I had a fake ID for the past year this was nothing, if not an ordinary night of going out and getting chocolate wasted. Although, there were some moments in there that are definitely worth talking about. Like the moment that I almost punched my team mate in the face when I caught her trying to write her real weight on the fake that I had passed down to her, with a pen. My arm tallies told me I had already taken ten of the 22 shots I were to take that night and even as a drunk asshole I knew not to make a fake ID look even more fake.
That happened before we even left for the bar! We shoved seven people into a five seater and set sail for Bugsy Malone's with Rihanna screaming "SUCK MY COCKINESS LICK MY PERSUASION" through the speakers. I know you can already tell this is going to be a good night. We get to the bar and tried our hardest not to let the fact that it was just now my 21st birthday because I had been going to that bar for about two months before that.
A pretty severe fight broke out while I was gettin' down and dirty on the dance floor with my poor boyfriend watching helplessly from his bouncer post by the bar. Beer mugs started flying, tables and chairs were kicked over, but all I cared about was the girl kickin' ass at Karaoke! No one noticed her but me! Someone pushed me down and I don't know who helped me up, but I am 95% positive I poked them STRAIGHT in the eye trying to keep my drink from spilling.
This is when things got blurry. The next thing I remember is my head hitting the bar after taking straight Rumplemintz for my 22nd shot. Apparently I puked and rallied around shot number 19 and was a happy camper when a freshman gave me a ride home. When I took inventory on my team the next morning, I found out some pretty interesting things. One of my team mates blacked out and another one of my team mates picked her up dead weight and carried her to a cab. Jimbo slice said he was impressed. He also said she was in heels, which is really admirable! Apparently, a different team mate knocked on the door about two AM with her DD and I answered buck naked. (But hey, if I don't remember it, it didn't happen!) The poor guy driving her around said that she came in, peed, took off her heels and ear rings, and left. Which explained why heels and ear rings were on my couch.
Now, onto roomies birthday celebration. This is a good one too.
She is a trooper and took six shots at one in the afternoon while I was at my work out. So when I got home we were all stuffing our faces with frozen pizza and getting ready for the night ahead. The plan was to start at a bar/grill and end up at another bar. Now, keep in mind my room mate is a pretty significant party girl and has accumulated A LOT of friends along the way. A good forty people showed up at the bar/grill and she had all 21 shots bought for her with documentation each time to boot. She was barely starting to feel it and since she was peer pressured to start over because it had been so long since the first shots, her arm tally meant she had 27 shots by nine PM. I stayed sober and witnessed the drunkeness in all of it's beautiful glory. We got 5 warnings to be quiet or we were going to get kicked out, and by that time we downright just didn't give a shit. Several buffalo dips, and fish bowl margaritas later a handful of people walked out on their checks and headed to the second location. Of course Miss Center of Attention tried to get everyone to ditch and start a different party at her apartment that wasn't all about someone else, but everyone made it back to the bar within thirty minutes. After the minor melt down a couple of the girls that loathe Miss Center of Attention had, it really started to pick up. It is Christmas break and unfortunately I ran into a lot of people from High School and after Jimmy showed up I was tired of being the only sober one sitting in a bar. Roomie was on shot 40 and I figured I better get food in her STAT. I don't know how I did it, but I rounded up about 11 drunkards, and got them to Steak n Shake around midnight. There was screaming about seat arrangements, screaming about drunk driving, and screaming about needing cheese fries. One guy at the end of the table kept trying to start a fight with two guys two tables over. He also kept talking about how much he admired Jimmy's muscles. Which was a bit awkward. Three girls at the end other end of the table had tobacco in their lips and were trying to spit into cups, and another girl was asking the waiter if she could dance on a table for a free milk shake. I felt it to be a good trade but it was a no go.
Roomie lost her phone, found it, disappeared into the bathroom for a little too long, and then we made it back to the apartment. Sadly I passed out from dealing with drunk asses all night and apparently the girls stayed up watching a movie and raiding the fridge. I woke up to find a good friend on the couch and she had stolen MY comforter. I made pancakes for breakfast and then we all went back to sleep. My room mate went to a basketball game and then came back mid afternoon and slept until the next morning. She is borderline alcoholic, but I guess most people are around the age of 21.
Soooooo that's that.
Too much alcohol and a lot of birth celebration. Complete successes on both occasions.
I will never, EVER show fore mentioned videos to anyone. So don't try and google them because YOU WONT FIND THEM.
